Come Lasses and Lads…

A Jobs Fair- what does that word conjure up for you? Hailing from the depths of East Sussex I know what a fair is. I imagine Morris dancers banging sticks together, prancing about on well muscled legs under bellies rounded by Real Ale.

I smell the warmth of grass heated by the sun drenched canvas of a tent. Stalls with all kinds of produce, a juicy hog roast and Maypoles with brightly coloured ribbons.

But a Jobs Fair is nothing so exotic or exciting. A few Tables in front of banners for various businesses from around the area.

I wasn’t sure if I had to go ,as I am in Job Centre limbo. Since I made complaints and did a rapid re-application, the world has gone silent as if Jim has left the Universe. Captains Log 26th March 2015, ” The stress of dealing with Mrs A. too much. Left ship for Centura 5.Laser set to stun if the woman finds me.”

Anyway I registered my presence to “Jim’s People” at the Fair, explaining what Jim had gone and done. They were not surprised and said “Well yes, this happens I’m afraid..” As the place was chock a block with folk I wasn’t able to grab her by the collar and shake her, but apparently we can get together sometime and I can go “digital”. I took this as a technological term and not a gesture that came to mind.I didn’t get the chance to tell her that actually I have always been digital.

Everyday I fill in the little box, I’ve recently tried a bit of sarcasm, and this confirms for me that no advisor ever reads the “Universal Jobmatch” . But, it would have confirmed that I was still very much Job searching when they closed my account, if they had.

I wandered around the room with some other rather confused looking people. There were no jobs! If you were under 25 you could sign up for an apprenticeship with the council,join the Army or the Police Force. A woman that represented care homes said that if I could work towards an NVQ2 I could work there. I said no, I had already been to University and been an RGN and a Matron of Care Homes for many years, an NVQ2 might just be too much for me. She smiled sweetly and I growled.

A group of us oldies, having been around the room, all I imagined having been summoned there by Jim ,looked at each other wearily and signed out. We’d been there less than 10 minutes.

So Jimbo, where ever you are, no one phoned me back in 48 hours, my crisis loan, bless the Council Welfare fund amounted to 45 quid, so I’m of to the “Co” to see how far it will stretch. Looking forward to seeing you when my JSA gets reset, I think we will have an interesting conversaTion Jim……evil laughter…..maypole


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